I found out today, that arguments about fence
I found out today, that arguments about fences are the major cause of feuds between neighbours.
So I went and took our neighbours fence down, just in case.
My neighbours hate it when I talk to my plant
My neighbours hate it when I talk to my plants just before I go to bed. They’re in luck tonight though, the batteries of my megaphone ran out.
I was going through my Sky+ planner, deleting
I was going through my Sky+ planner, deleting some old films when I shouted to my wife ”Shall we get rid of Jennifer’s body?!”
Not a good idea when you have nosy neighbours…
I was watching neighbours the other day… An
I was watching neighbours the other day…
And then they saw me.
I’ve met this girl who, whenever she’s around
I’ve met this girl who, whenever she’s around, makes me so happy.
She’s called Sarah Tonin.
My neighbour has built a ten foot wall to sto
My neighbour has built a ten foot wall to stop me perving on his daughter.
I can’t get over it.
I just got skylights put in my place. The wo
I just got skylights put in my place.
The woman upstairs is furious.
Neighbour I was wondering if you could chec
Neighbour: ”I was wondering if you could check your shed only my Cat has gone missi..”
Me: ”-Before we go any further, Margaret, is there a reward?”
Neighbour: ”Well, Yes…I imagine..?”
Me: ”-How much?”
Neighbour: ”I suppose, Twenty pounds?”
Me: ”In that case, No, I haven’t seen your cat..”
”Which is a shame because I did hear a noise…”
Neighbour: ”Oh really, what sort of a noise?”
Me: ”…Kind of like a Fifty pound-noise”
My next door Neighbour’s Daughter said that w
My next door Neighbour’s Daughter said that when she gets older she wants to marry me. I was touched.
A few minutes later, so was she.
My next door neighbour was desperate to go sh
My next door neighbour was desperate to go shopping and asked me to watch her kids that evening…
…apparently, through their bedroom window, whilst wearing a nappy and nipple clamps wasn’t what she had in mind.