I took a bird and her baby for a picnic on a cliff.
I was trying to slip my hand in her knickers when she stopped me and said, ”No, not until the baby drops off.”
So I kicked him over the edge.
The look on her face suggested that’s not what she meant.
Last year my wife was furious that I missed her birthday, and insisted that in future I should plan at least two months in advance.
Well it’s her birthday in 8 weeks time, and I’m pleased to say I’ve already bought her her present.
She’s going to love these flowers.
I was at the hospital today when the doctor said, ”Mr Smith, your wife is comfortable.”
”I thought she was in a coma and in critical condition,” I said bemused.
”She is,” he replied, ”but she’s so fat, me and the other doctors use her like a beanbag.”