The optician in Specsavers led me to the examination room. When we got inside she, turned off the light and sat directly across from me. She then smiled at me, asked me to put my chin on some sort of head rest and mentioned something about a ‘blowing sensation’
And that, your honour, is why I thought she wanted me to remove my trousers
I went out last night and when I entered the first establishment of the night I noticed right away a beautiful girl across the floor. And she was dressed up in a uniform, saucy. After waiting for a few minutes nervously I realised it was about time I approached her. So I walked across, smiled and said, ”Hey.”
She just blew her lid and screamed at me, ”What is it with you guys?! Every night I get slimy little men like you walking up to me, asking me for this or that. I’ve had it up to here with it. Just leave me alone!”
”Blimey,” I said. ”I only came in for a Big Mac and Fries.”
Excitedly, I asked my dad if he could play T-rex for me. Smiling, he went to the cd player and started playing this 70’s groove called ‘Get it on’ as he bopped up and down singing the words and gliding across the floor, as if he was some sort of rock god.
I don’t think he noticed as I slipped back upstairs, clutching my cuddly dinosaur toy.