Little Mary told her mother that dumb little Johnny had paid her a dollar just to see her climb a telephone pole. Mother said” why Mary he only did that so he could look up your dress and see your panties”. Little Mary replied ”I know but I sure fooled him. I wasn’t wearing any panties!”
Little Johnny’s father glared at the school report and asked ”Why did you fail maths?”
”On Monday, the teacher said six fours make twenty-four. Then on Tuesday, she said twelve twos make twenty-four. And on Wednesday, she said three eights make twenty-four.”
”Right,” said his father. ”So?”
”If she can’t make up her mind, how am I ever going to get anything right?”
Little Johnny asks his mum, ”Can I cross the road when the red man is on?”
”Of course you can, Johnny,” says his mum, ”but you have to hold your hands up in the air.”
”Why’s that?” says Johnny.
”It’s easier for them to get your pullover off when you’re in hospital.”
One day little Johnny goes up to his mother and says, ”Is it true babies come from storks?”
”Why yes,” says the mom.
”Do storks ever have abortions?” he asks.
Johnny’s mother stops and laughs and then says, ”Yes, but only the poor black ones.”
Little Johnny climbs the ladder up to the attic for the first time. When he puts the light on, he sees the playpen he was placed in when he was a toddler. Excited, he rushes downstairs to the kitchen:
”Mummy! We’re getting a new baby!”
”What on earth makes you think that, Johnny?” says his mother.
”I’ve just been in the attic and Daddy’s already set the trap.”
A little boy and girl at school were having lunch in the shelter shed.
”Tommy,” she said, ”I’m not eating any more chicken sandwiches.”
”Why?” he asked.
”’Cause I’m starting to grow feathers down here,” she said, pointing to the bottom of her tummy.
”I don’t believe you,” he said. ”You’ll have to show me.”
Behind the shed they went, where the inspection took place.
”You’re right,” he said. ”I’ve been eating a lot of chicken also. Perhaps I’m getting feathers too.”
”Well, I’d better have a look,” she said.
After a lengthy examination, she looked up and said, ”Oh, I think it’s too late for you. You’ve got the neck and giblets too.”